


that would be enough

by grantairrible



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Schönberg/Boublil, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: (but mostly fluff), Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Fluff and Angst, Nonbinary Grantaire, Other, Trans Enjolras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-13
Updated: 2016-09-13
Packaged: 2018-08-14 21:36:22
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,646
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8029699
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grantairrible/pseuds/grantairrible
Summary: In which Grantaire can't be everything for Enjolras, and Enjolras doesn't want them to be.





	that would be enough

“Grantaire,” Enjolras was thoughtful as he sank into the seat opposite them, “would you do me a favour?”

“Anything you wish,” Grantaire said. They meant to smirk and make a joke of it, but it fell flat when they realised it was probably true. Only probably. They’d failed Enjolras before, after all.

One of Enjolras’ perfect eyebrows raised. “Anything? I was just going to ask for your input on where to hold Courfeyrac’s surprise party, but if you’d do _anything…”_

“What would you have me do?” Grantaire didn’t know why they sometimes sounded so formal when they were being a bit of a dick.

“I’d have you kiss me.”

Grantaire had to take a moment to process that. “I think I just hallucinated, for a moment there I thought you said you wanted me to kiss you.”

Enjolras smiled at them, and all of Grantaire’s attention focused upon his full lips. “No, you heard me right. But only if you want to.”

Feeling as though the opportunity might be revoked at any moment, Grantaire surged forward and captured Enjolras’ lips, which were just as soft as Grantaire thought they would be. His lipbalm was fruity and sweet, and they chased the taste of it, of _him._

“Oh,” Enjolras said, in high colour as he pulled back, “If only you had such dedication towards everything.”

“Enjolras-”

“I’m only teasing. You know I’ve long since stopped judging you so harshly.” Enjolras stole another peck. “And you’ve long since stopped being an asshole about everything.”

“Only because I didn’t have to be a jerk to get your attention.”

“You’ve always had my attention, even when you infuriated me.”

Grantaire glanced up at Enjolras. “What are you trying to say?”

“Come home with me. Only if you want, of course, but you’ve made it clear in the past that you at least desire me physically. I can say with confidence that feeling is reciprocated.”

“Oh, I-” Grantaire stammered for the right words, and only came upon one: “Yes.”

 

* * *

 

Enjolras’ apartment was high up enough that they didn’t have to worry about anyone seeing them through the windows, and so it was in the golden light of the afternoon sun that Grantaire pressed Enjolras back amongst the soft sheets.

Enjolras’ eyelids fluttered, and his body yielded to Grantaire as they uncovered swathes of brown skin. He was radiant, blonde curls tangling on the pillows and catching the sunlight.

“You’re beautiful,” Grantaire said, placing kisses to the sharp jut of his clavicle. “I don’t understand why you’d want me.”

“Because I do, because you’re-” Enjolras gestured to their entire body, perched above him as they were. “You’re-” He gave up as Grantaire started to suck bruises onto his throat, trailing off into a low moan. “ _Grantaire.”_

Grantaire bit at Enjolras’ skin. “Binder on or off?”

“Off.”

Grantaire nodded, and helped him out of it. His nipples were hard, and Grantaire couldn’t believe that this was happening. They were here, in Enjolras’ bed, and they were turning him on. Jesus. “Tell me if there’s anything you do or don’t want me to do.”

“I want you to take your clothes off.” Enjolras didn’t even blush, just evenly met Grantaire’s gaze. “But I’ll tell you if there’s anything else, don’t worry. I want this.”

“So do I,” Grantaire admitted, and took off their top. “I want _you_.”

Enjolras reached out a hand and skimmed it down Grantaire’s side. “Come here, then.”

 

* * *

 

The sun was setting by the time they were finished, and Grantaire turned away to pull on their pants.

“Where are you going?” Enjolras asked. His lips were red and swollen from kissing, and Grantaire was so tempted to lean across and steal one more.

Grantaire paused, a foot stuck in the leg of their jeans. “I thought you’d want me to leave.”

Enjolras shook his head. “Will you stay?”

Unable to resist Enjolras, as always, Grantaire slid back under the covers, their naked body brushing against Enjolras’. Enjolras drew Grantaire close, a leg slung over theirs, and sighed out a contented breath.

“You’re quite comfortable there?” Grantaire asked as Enjolras tucked himself against their body.

“Yes,” Enjolras said simply, and closed his eyes.

Grantaire, not quite able to believe what had transpired over the last couple of hours, was nowhere near tired enough to fall asleep, despite the comfort and warmth of Enjolras’ bed. That was the main problem - they were _in Enjolras’ bed._ They had just had sex with Enjolras. It was something they’d dreamt of - literally, to their chagrin - but it wasn’t everything they wanted with him. They wanted to go on dates and to be free to kiss him whenever they wanted, to come home to and wake up with Enjolras. They wanted Enjolras to love them in the way they loved him. But at the same time, they were all wrong for Enjolras; they couldn’t let Enjolras love them. Not when they were such a fuck up.

All of a sudden, this was too much. Grantaire extricated themself from Enjolras before they could do something embarrassing like begin to cry, and Enjolras looked up, blinking sleepily.

“‘Aire? What’s wrong?”

“I can’t-” Grantaire said, successfully pulling on their jeans this time. They couldn’t find their underwear, but they would have to do without for now. “I’m sorry, Enjolras.”

Enjolras sat up, properly awake now, looking spectacularly dishevelled as the sheets pooled around his waist. “Grantaire? Can we talk about this?”

“I don’t know what there is to talk about.”

“Have I done something wrong? I’m sorry, if I have. I thought you wanted this, wanted…” Enjolras broke off, blinking rapidly. He shrugged. “...me.”

“I did,” Grantaire said. “I do.”

“Then what’s the problem?”

“Me, okay?” Grantaire pulled on their shirt a little more violently than necessary, a couple of threads making ripping sounds. “I need to go.”

“Okay,” Enjolras said, still sitting there amongst the sheets. “If that’s what you need. Just know that the only reason I would regret this if you did too. Don’t walk out of that door thinking I don’t care about you.”

Grantaire’s brain couldn’t process those words. “I’m sorry. I can’t deal with this right now.”

“Okay,” Enjolras said again. “Will you let me know when you can?”

“Sure,” Grantaire replied, although they weren’t sure that day would ever come. “Thanks for the-” they broke off, gesturing at Enjolras and the bed in general.

“Take care, R,” Enjolras said, always so fucking sincere.

Grantaire left.

 

* * *

 

They found themselves falling back into bed with Enjolras again two weeks later, unable to resist him. Enjolras’ legs wrapped around Grantaire as they moved against each other, Enjolras holding them close, looking into their eyes. Grantaire didn’t know what to make of it.

“Wait,” Enjolras said, as they got up to go this time. “Are you leaving because you don’t want more than this, or because you do?”

“Enjolras,” Grantaire said. It was all they could manage.

“I thought,” Enjolras said, suddenly appearing vulnerable, looking up at Grantaire with wide eyes, “maybe you could stay the night? We could go out for breakfast in the morning.”

Grantaire collapsed onto the bed at the thought of going on a date with Enjolras. “I can’t.”

“I don’t understand why you don’t want this. You said that you want me,” Enjolras’ lips turned up at the corners, his cheekbones dusted pink, “so I know that’s not the problem. Why are you pushing me away?”

Grantaire couldn’t bring themselves to look at Enjolras, knowing that if they did, they wouldn’t be able to deny him anything and it would all be ruined. “I’m not right for you. I’m not like you. It’s not that I don’t care, but I can’t do what you do. I can’t stand by your side while you try to save the world.”

“Is that all?” Enjolras took Grantaire’s hand, his smooth fingers warm on their skin. “I have Combeferre and Courfeyrac for that. I have _all of our friends_ for that. You don’t have to be everything for me, Grantaire. I know you, and that’s who I want. That’s enough, and _you’re_ enough. It’s you that I’m in love with.”

“Oh.” And for once, Grantaire couldn’t think of a single argument to the contrary. Enjolras knew them, and wasn’t discounting any of their flaws. He was accepting them, just as they were - the disappointment they’d always been - despite how he’d said in the past that Grantaire could always be more. Grantaire didn’t have to be anything other than they were. _You’re enough_. “I really do love you, Enjolras.”

“I know.” Enjolras smiled. “Does this mean-?”

“Against my better judgement, yes.”

Enjolras lit up, and the air left Grantaire’s lungs because _they_ were doing this. They were the reason Enjolras was as bright as he was whenever he was speechifying, but this was out of happiness, and it was _because of them_. “Thank you.”

“I didn’t realise my rejection had hurt you.”

Tears were suddenly caught in Enjolras’ long lashes. “I love you, I told you.”

“You’re going to have to keep telling me that for it to sink in properly.”

“I love you.” Enjolras said, and kissed Grantaire, whispering the words over and over against their skin. “I love you.”

“I’m sorry I walked out on you,” Grantaire said. “It was just. A lot.”

“It’s alright,” Enjolras said, and kissed them. “I forgive you. Just, please, talk to me in the future instead of running away.”

“Ugh,” Grantaire wrinkled their nose. “Since when did you become Courfeyrac?”

“Does that make you- actually, never mind.” Enjolras’ nose wrinkled to match. “This conversation has turned weird. Let’s put that aside. I love you.”

Grantaire melted at that, tugging Enjolras down into the covers with them. “You really like saying that, huh?”

“Well…” Enjolras kissed Grantaire again, as though he couldn’t get enough of them. “I really love you.”


End file.
